The Hardest Blog Post I Have Ever Done…

Yes, I realize my claim of my ‘Hardest Blog Post” may not carry the full gravity I am trying to convey because I have written, like, a total of two blog posts. But this post will be about one of the most sensitive issues to women – weight. In my opinion, a conversation about weight with a woman is like touching the third rail because there is a real chance you will walk away shocked, injured or at the very least, a little worse for wear.

One of the main reasons for starting karate is my desire to get healthy, and a main component of my unhealthy lifestyle is my weight. So I have made the decision to openly and honestly talk about how much I weigh, and chronicle any weight loss I might achieve. Trust me, I considered glossing over the exact number of my weight however after a lot of thought, I realized (in this situation) it was more authentic to just get over it and disclose the number. But first, how I got here (and no, this will not turn into a Birds and the Bees conversation!).

Up until I got pregnant with my son in 2004, I was employed in the restaurant industry, which meant that I was on my feet, a lot. No, it was not a structured exercise regimen, however I was definitely not sedentary. My weight and pants size varied dependent upon what was happening in my life, anywhere from a size 8 to a 12. I was never especially happy with my size when I was a 12, but I never worried about my weight in the past and I was having too much fun enjoying my twenties to start.

Then came a child and a stressful desk job, and my sedentary life began. I progressed from a size 12, to a 14, to a 16 and for a brief time, an 18. I started to watch what I ate, however the punishment I imparted on my metabolism made losing weight through food management nearly impossible. I am not one of this people that can simply cut an item out of their diet and then lose weight – my switch from regular to diet soda simply increased my aspartame consumption. Unfortunately, I am one of the lucky ones who only sees a real difference in weight if I get my butt up and exercise. And as I got heavier, my energy and desire to exercise only decreased. Not a good combination.

One day I was walking through a mall, and as I looked to my left, I caught a glimpse of a woman whose hips and butt were disproportionate to the rest of her body. It was after my second glance that I realized the image was a REFLECTION and those were MY hips and butt. At some point, I quit looking at my backside in the mirror and my butt had taken on a life of its own. Apparently, it was also stockpiling its own food supply.

Along came pregnancy number two and I was still carrying the baby weight from pregnancy number one from five years ago. When my doctor told me that I should only gain 10-15 pounds for pregnancy number two, I knew it was time to get healthy. Baby #2 was born healthy and without complications. She is almost 6 months old and I know that if I am going to keep up with my kids, I need to get fit. Karate could not have come into my life at a better time.

So, here I am – officially obese and unhealthy. I bought a scale and it (unkindly, if I do say so myself) informed me that I am weighing in at exactly 200 pounds. On my 5’6″ frame, 200 pounds are not doing me any favors. So I hope that my extremely honest disclosure of my size and sharing my journey helps someone – anyone – find the one thing that will help them get healthy too.

Because if there is one thing I believe more than anything, it is that strong women are beautiful women!

Today, my black belt quality is integrity, because when committed to documenting this journey, I knew the only way to do it was honestly and genuinely. At least this way, I know I cannot hide from my backside.

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About Jess

Hi, I am Jess. I am an unemployed, overweight thirty-something wife with two kids who has decided to set the goal of earning a black belt in tae kwon do, along side my seven (going on twenty-eight) year old son. I am a serial quitter. I also may be the clumsiest person on earth. This is going to be hard. And really, really funny.

Posted on October 10, 2011, in Integrity, Weight Loss and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. I so admire your honesty and am honored to be taken along on your journey!!!!

  2. You’re an amazing woman Jess! Strong and beautiful for sure :)

  3. Thank you so much for being honest, it takes a lot of guts to do what you are doing. I could never have the courage to state my weight and size on a blog that so many can read. By doing so you have opened yourself up to having so many help you on your journey. I will be rooting for you and when you do change your life, know that you will be helping change other lives too.

  4. Girl, welcome to the karate family and I am on a same kind of journey you are. I’ve been heavy for a long time and have had enough. I am so glad that I’ve started karate “finally” and we will both be better women because of it. It’s nice to have another white belt woman in class with me and girl we rocked tonight-hope to see ya tomorrow night.

  5. Way to go Jess! I too am at the 200lb mark from the babes and I hope one day soon I can stand next to you in class. Due to an acute back injury I am currently out of commission. But I will be there to cheer you on with your son and my daughter!

    • Melissa, I hope you can join me in class too as soon as you are back in commission! Take care of your back and I truly appreciate your support!

  6. Chicken, the people who love you, love you no matter thick or thin! Good luck in your journey, I know you will do amazing! If there is one thing I do know about you, if you want it you get it. My strength is with you, you have all the integrity you need within you <3

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